One Sided Love Relationship

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Love seems to be the cause of all the happiness and pain in the world. If your love is reciprocated, you will be the happiest person on earth. But if your love is one-sided, that is, if it is not returned to you in equal measure, then it can be a source of great sorrow.

But what really is love? Is true love only the one that is reciprocated? On the contrary, love is a one-way street. Love is what you give, and not what you receive. Love is undemanding, it never asks for anything in return. Though, deep down in our hearts, each one of us knows this, it doesn’t lessen the amount of grief that unrequited love causes.

It takes real strength to accept that our love is not cherished and not even given a second thought. But, what is it then that makes people fall in love so recklessly? Love isn’t a choice. There is good in everyone. And when the good far outweighs the bad in a person in our opinion, we start falling in love. We respect, like and even blindly trust that person. This is what makes the pain of rejection even more difficult to endure. We consider that person as too good to be able to hurt us, and when they do, we are left heartbroken.

One-sided love is like falling in love with the moon. You can only wistfully stare at it, knowing fully that it can never be yours. This feeling may depress you for a while, but people usually get over it.

On the other hand, a one-sided relationship is potentially dangerous. Usually the partner who does not love wishes to gain some kind of advantage from this relationship, He/she will exploit the other in some or the other way. They usually feel no remorse as they use the other individual in order to obtain something in return. Financial or physical exploitation are the most common reasons behind this kind of relationship. Some people also agree to one-sided relationships because they are too weak to say “no”. They would much rather be trapped in a fruitless relationship and give the other a false sense of security than tell the truth about their feelings. In either way, a one-sided relationship will eventually make the “victim” realize that his/her trust has been breached.

So, how can one get over a one-sided relationship? The first thing to do is to break-up at the slightest indication of being exploited. Then, in order to get over your one-sided feelings, you must TRY to stop thinking about them. Keep yourself busy, do anything that keeps your mind occupied. Don’t wallow in self-pity. Tell yourself you are strong and that you can come out of this. And lastly, pledge that you will never give anyone the false impression of being in love with them. Don’t do onto others what you wouldn’t want them to do to you…

This sweet yet painful thing called love

Bet everybody has ever fallen for someone.. Someone who makes us smile every day and night, and sometimes ‘forces’ us to burst in tears..

Ah, I don’t know what should I write about what I feel. Sometimes I think that I don’t deserve to fall for anyone, considering how selfish and egomaniac I am.. Sometimes I think that my feeling is forbidden, a feeling which is unpredictable but constantly exist in my heart.. It is like a star at night; which will never go anywhere; it will stay in my heart..

And here I am now, struggling to make this feeling in the right portion, thus it won’t disturb my logical thinking..

But somehow this feeling hurts me; makes me suffer to death. A feeling of pain, pain in realizing how far ‘the one’ that I love.. pain in bearing my jealousy. For I have a serious trouble in jealousy. Ahahahah.. What am I talking about??? I ain’t a day dreamer..

The only thing that I know now is that: I’ll be OK.. And if the time is right, I’ll find ‘the one and only’, someone who supports me, prays for me day and night, loves me, and accepts me as I am..

*cries*

Saying "I'm Sorry"

In every relationship there will be occasional misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Sometimes we are the one who hurt another person we care about; sometimes we are the one who has been hurt.

Hurt feelings will occur in friendships, in intimate relationships, and even between two acquaintances that barely know each other.

Sometimes both people have become very angry at each other, or both feel hurt.

Hurt feelings can be the result of a slip of the tongue, a misunderstanding, or a deed committed in bad judgment. Sometimes feelings are hurt deliberately in the heat of anger and regretted later.

If we were the guilty party, we might regret what we said the instant we let the hurtful remark out of our mouths. We might want to apologize right away, but some of us find apologizing about anything extremely difficult, almost impossible.

Sometimes the reason we don’t apologize is because we are convinced that the other person totally deserved our angry outburst. Sometimes the reason we don’t apologize is because we have absolutely no idea that we hurt the other person. And sometimes we apologize very profusely, but we don’t really mean it.

Many of us are not good at handling hurt feelings. Some of us try to pretend nothing ever happened and keep on going without acknowledging there was ever a problem. Some people find it almost impossible to say those magic words, “I’m sorry” while others throw out their apologies so easily, that there is no truth behind them.

When you sincerely apologize to a friend or loved one, it means that you sincerely regret causing the other person emotional pain, and you want to work on repairing the relationship.

If you have said or done something that hurt your friend or partner, it is important to acknowledge your loved one’s painful emotions. You can say something like, “I’m so sorry you feel hurt because of what I said. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Let’s talk about what happened.”

In some relationships, hurt feelings and problems are never dealt with. Instead, they get “swept under the rug”. These relationships may look polite on the surface and they may even be long-lived, but they are not really very intimate. There is no deep sharing between the two people and there is no ability to be honest.

If one, or both of you, are feeling very angry with the other, put off your in-depth discussion until both of you are to be calm and levelheaded. But apologize to your friend sincerely as soon as you can.

An apology that is coupled with a sincere promise to avoid the upsetting behavior in the future is much more likely to succeed. An apology that is just thrown out casually, with no sincere remorse or promise to do better, is a signal that the other person does not truly value the relationship. In fact, this sort of meaningless apology is a red flag that this person cannot really be trusted.

Once an apology for a particular incident has been extended and accepted, don’t go back and revisit old battles the next time you have a disagreement. Take care of each incident as it comes up and don’t nurse old resentments.

If you make a sincere apology every time you have hurt another person, the relationship has a much better chance to survive.

What is Love?

“When you look at love, you're looking into the face of appreciation.”

Throughout the history of mankind, we as a world culture have made love out to be mysterious, complex, difficult, and indefinable. It’s the subject of endless poems and literary works. There is an enormous amount of material available out there about love, a lot of it contradictory. We’ve been given the impression that to define love is near to impossible. Maybe there’s a fear that if we define it, it would somehow be less powerful...less impactful...less exhilarating. Maybe we like the mystery of it. But is it really that complicated? Perhaps the complications surrounding love come from all “stuff” we add on to this powerful emotion. Lets drop all the baggage surrounding relationships and define what it is we are experiencing in the moment of love.

Basic Components of Love

What do you feel when you love someone? If distilled down to its core components, what would those be? Yes, love is an emotion, a feeling, a wanting, and a “being”. We know it feels good, but what specific feelings, wanting, and beings are present when we feel love? Here are the common denominators of love...

Love is Accepting.

Acceptance is labeling someone as "okay" and having no particular desire to change them. Who they are is perfectly fine with you. You pose no condition on whether you will love them or not. This is call unconditional love. When your love is conditional, the moment they step outside your set of conditions, love evaporates.

Love is Appreciating.

Appreciation is one step beyond acceptance. It’s when your focus is on what you like about another. We look at them and feel this sweeping appreciation for who they are, their joy, their insights, their humor, their companionship, etc. When someone says they are "in love" with another, they mean their appreciation is so enormous for this person that it consumes their every thought.

Love is Wanting Another to Feel Good.

We want those we love to be happy, safe, healthy, and fulfilled. We want them to feel good in all ways, physically, mentally and emotionally.

How Do We Express Love?

We don’t always express our love. Love is a feeling and the expression of that feeling is separate. It’s an action. There’s a practical reason we don’t always express our love for another. It’s an issue of TIME. We only have 24 hours in a day (if you make it up that way). If the expression of love was a core ingredient to love, we would have to be stingy with who we loved, because there simply wouldn’t be enough time to demonstrate our love for everyone! If you see the distinction between the feeling and the expression, you can then love endless numbers of people.

Love expressed is when you give your attention, your time, your focus to someone. Webster defines attention as “the giving of one’s mind to something."

There are many ways in which we give our attention to another. We use our five senses. Our ears to listen. Being completely present with the one who is speaking. Our eyes, watching another, undivided attention. Tasting/smelling? (I’ll let you figure that one out). Touching, giving a hug, holding a hand, a caress, or sexual expression. How you express your love depends on the type of relationship.