LIFE: IT’S ALL ABOUT CHOICES

“Life is all about choices, but sometimes some people are hard to choose what’s right and what’s wrong for them and it depends on the situation too…”

Today morning I got up with the thought that whoever we are, whatever we go through, is the manifestation of the choices that we have made. Life is all about the choices that we make and don’t make. Every moment we keep making new or renewed choices. Every aspect of our life is determined by our choices and intentions. Life is about the uniqueness of an individual, the concern with the meaning and purpose of living and the freedom that is his/ her most important and distinctively human property. We must accept our responsibility for everything about ourselves, not just our actions, but our attitudes, our emotions and even our personalities. We ourselves are responsible for our emotions, because they are ways in which we choose to react to the world. When the frustration reaches its peak, I have to choose to either outrage or to remain silent. So even though we are not aware of it, our freedom and hence our responsibility extends to everything we think of and do.

There are times, however, when we attribute our behaviors and actions to the external reasons and factors. This is illusory because we all are aware of our freedom, however, at times of temptation or indecision the anguish over power us not because of the fear of some external object, but the awareness of ultimate unpredictability of our own behavior. I fear of doing something for which I know the consequences, yet, I feel anguish when I wonder, whether I would be able to hold myself from making a choice, for which I know I will have to face the consequences. Anguish, the consciousness of our freedom, is painful, and we typically try to avoid it by seeking the reasons outside, but such escape is illusory, for it is a necessary truth that we are free and no one else but only we are responsible for the choices that we have made. We all make our individual choices with full awareness, and no one else determines them for us. So If I make certain choices, I must be prepared for its consequences. There is no escape from the anguish of freedom; to flee responsibility is itself a choice. Since a person is essentially a unity, not just a bundle of desires and habits but there must be for each person some fundamental choices that give meaning of every particular aspects of his/ her behavior.

Considering this postulate, if I am in a tormenting situation, it’s me who has made the choices to be in this situation on the first place. If I continue to remain into redundant relationships, it’s because I have asked for it. If I find myself suffocating in the complex situations of life, it’s because of the choices that I have made in the past. If I find a pattern of drawing people close to me who give me pain, it’s because I have chosen to be in that pain. So what I am today, or the kind of situation I am into, no one else but I am responsible for it.

Will this realization create remorse or self pity in me? No, it would rather help me to be at peace. Why do I get frustrated for something that I have chosen for myself? This awareness probably will enable me to accept the fact that the life I am living today is what I have chosen for me. No choice is right or wrong when we make it, its only later we realize whether this is what we wanted for ourselves. With this realization, I am the best friend as well as the worst critique of my own self. This way I will be able to reflect my own actions through continued critical analysis, yet accept myself whole heartedly for all my humanly weaknesses and take responsibility of my actions. And if I choose to change certain aspects of my life or behavior, then it’s only me who has to take the steps in an organized way. From my past experiences so far, I have learned that no matter how the situations may be adverse, the energy is within us to change our behavioral patterns, habits, surroundings and situations to the way we want. We have to be aware of the strength, the enormous power that is already there within us.

This awareness also makes us take control of our emotions and feelings. After all our emotions are determined by the way we feel about something. If I am angry it is because I have chosen to be angry. The more I am aware of my anger, and the more I am not just angry and the more I am capable of taking control of my own emotions, for to be aware of, that I am feeling or behaving in a certain way would make a difference to me.

The authenticity of taking responsibility of my action would also require respecting the freedom of other people. This is challenge to us all, to become more truly self aware and to exercise our power of reflecting, introspecting, being critically aware, accept ourselves the way we are and yet move towards growth.