Why Relationships Fail; Think before it happens!

Most of us think later when anything happens; I didn’t exclude myself from this principal of human behavior. Very recently one of my friend was feeling depressed of relationship broke up with his girlfriend. He told about the problems he faced and how it did happen, I agreed with him about his girlfriend had lots of mistakes as well…. But he was thinking about it too late, that there is no chance of getting back her to life again. I am saying that if he thinks little early then he could find a way.

From this my mind goes back to years, I had a problem with one of my mate, even though it was not love relationship we both are very close buddy than. We had very small arguments which left our long relationship sealed with enemies for years and years. Very recently I got a mail from her, saying that she was sorry for the misunderstood between both of us. Thank God for realizing her to think about it even if it’s more than 5years we haven’t had any contact.

For young generation people relationship stuff and mostly broke up thing is very usual, besides most of guys take decision very soon without thinking anymore; even then come across uncomfortable of the decisions later. So what I understand from this is most of the problems we face daily life could be better as now if we thinks about the reason of our failure before it happens.

Let me here explain what I found a help for this kind of problems yet it could be a great piece for those who could face difficulties in their love life, relationship and broke up matters.

Each day brings about new problems. These problems could destroy a relationship without a moment’s notice. Though many can be seen, some cannot. Yet, should you recognize those that are troubling your relationship and try to work past them so your relationship stays on the right course. However, there are some common issues that can end your relationship. By recognizing them, you can reduce the damage that may be done to your relationship.

Cheating/Infidelity

There is no greater threat to a relationship ending then one partner cheating on the other person. Cheating brings about so many dangers but can also hurt you and your “supposed” partner. This cheating destroys any trust, feeling and forgiveness your partner may have for you. Cheating, unfortunately, is a common occurrence in society and is rising. How can you keep from destroying your relationship? It’s quite simple… don’t cheat. Leave your clothing on for the one you chose to be with. However, if you do cheat, the best things you can do are to beg for forgiveness and change your ways.

Lack of Affection

When couples love each other, it’s easy to show some sort of affection. However, over time, you may still love each other but take each other for granted, assuming that the other knows how you feel. Instead, keep them informed of your feelings. Not doing this can lead to hard feelings and breakups. You can prevent this breakup by letting your other half know how much you love them and how important they are to you.

In-fighting

Would you believe that fighting in a relationship can be good for it? It’s very natural for couples to fight and it’s healthy too. Yet, it can be dangerous too. Don’t lose your cool over every single thing. Fights can tell you what the pertinent issues your relationship is facing. If they are overlooked and not dealt with, your relationship could end. However, remind yourselves that you do love each other, why you fell in love and take the good things along with the bad ones.

Controlling Partner

While in the romantic movies it may be funny to see the overbearing girlfriend/wife, brandishing a cell phone, demanding to know where her boyfriend/husband has been. The man may sit there and tell her “Yes, ma’am, Yes, dear”. However, real life is never that funny and should never been viewed as such. No one, man or woman, should tell you what to do, how to act and certainly should never control anything about you. A relationship like this lacks trust. It’s also seen as a form of abuse too… psychological abuse. If you are with your partner, you should have some trust in him or her.

While there are other reasons for a relationship to die, these 4 are the most important ones to know. If there is some sort of conflict in the relationship, try to fix the problem. By remembering the 4 reasons a relationship fails, you lessen your chance to end your relationship and ruin your happiness.

Unfair and Injustice; should persuade, defeat, and prevail

Most recently I applied a course which is sponsored by my organization, with the full ambition of succeeding the placement and hoping for my dreams comes true. Fortunately no one could beat me against the placement and I have rewarded a merit scholarship. Hence then it’s not confirmed yet till the college council approved the plot for me. I filled all the necessary documents and hand over to the in charge guy…

A week later I got a call from office informed that I was not qualified for the plot, which was shocking for me, as so many my colleagues was enrolling the course and most of them were excessively lower than my standard.

I myself obtain an appointment from the college registrar for justify the reason… then only I knew that the application form which was sent from organization was too late to get a plot form required course, and they as well know that very well before..

As an employee I believe this is not the way government organizations have to do and this had happen in a not responsible approach, which lead to fail excellent relationship between employees and the organization.

This was one of the recent unfairness I have experienced and I am very sure there are so many young and innocent people who will face many more injustice case like this, but the problem is we as the people, most of the time did not notice those kind and even if we know most people keep quite and live the way they live before. But I think success won’t come without defeating such unfair and injustice activities faced our daily life.

Everyone has to face unfairness almost at every turn in one's life. The reactions to any unfairness shown towards us may vary from anger to extreme cynicism. It is important to learn to moderate one's thought processes and reactions otherwise life may become too difficult to live.

Life is not going to be fair at all turns. Everyday there are going to be situations where we have to confront unfair people and injustice. There are going to be people who violate traffic rules and yell at you instead. There are going to be bosses who would like to pin all failures on you. You work hard but all recognition and reward is enjoyed by your colleague. Undeserving people would get the entire raise and you will be bypassed. There are going to be colleagues who project you as incompetent. There are going to be people who commit mistakes and innocents lose their lives. You will be swindled, cheated upon and your money taken by scamsters.

This is not to paint a negative or bleak picture of life to frighten. Success in life depends to a great deal on how well we react to unfairness and injustice.

Do we lose our cool and respond back in the same manner. Are we also going to shout back, act the villain, back bite and look for opportunities to swindle because that is the way world is made.

Is 'give what you get' your response to unfairness and injustice.

Our response to such unfairness will dictate our success and where we end up in life. So how do we react to unfairness and injustice?

Take Responsibility

When we take responsibility for all events unfolding around us, we have won half the battle. While there may be unfairness in situations, however do we put all the blame on others? Make a list of 5 things you could have done to avoid such situations. This would help us to avoid being at the receiving end in future.

Expectations

Often our expectations are too high from others and society in general. This causes a stressful situation and negative reactions. Be gentle on your expectations from others. There is no better reaction to unfairness than being gentle and understanding. This would make the others realize their own folly.

Belief in Human Goodness

There may be situations where we have been unfair ourselves. But it does not mean we are bad. Believe every human being is good. There may be situations which would have created negative reactions.

Responding Positively

Responding and reacting to unfairness in an emotional state may cause more negativity and damage. Responding with maturity and cool would help us to find the right solutions. If nothing else we are equipping ourselves to face the realities of life in a healthy and intelligent state of mind.

We can choose how we react to unfairness and injustice. We can be negative and rant and rave about it or be positive or proactive in dealing with it. Our success in life greatly depends upon our being positive.

Words, Trust and Relationship

Interpersonal relationships are social connections, associations and affiliations between people. They vary in levels of depth and intimacy and cover different aspects such as friendship, family, boy-girl relationship and marriage. Regardless of the different kinds of relationship or the different role which a person plays in a social entity, conflicts may arise and can strain a relationship. Trust is an important element in maintaining a healthy and harmonious relationship. Conflicts normally arise due to the betrayal of trust between two parties in a relationship. Whenever there is a conflict, parties may resort to hurling harsh words and insults on each other which may eventually lead to emotional stress.

Trust is the pillar which supports relationships. Lies are the culprits for distrust and suspicion in relationships. Lies should be taken seriously because for every time a lie is told, the level of trust will drop and create more and more suspicion between parties. Eventually, the person who tells the lies will lose his credibility and this will strain the relationship. In today’s modern society of heightened stress and competition, lies are inevitable and serve as a convenient tool to evade trouble and protect oneself. However, this form of convenience is exchanged with the reduction in trust. A person who has his trust misplaced before may have difficulty trusting people again. Therefore, with regards of relationship, once there is zero trust between both parties, this relationship has failed. Honesty is the best policy!

Words can be the most powerful tool but the most destructive weapon in the world. Words can be in the form of praise and compliment but also a weapon that can hurt and leave an emotional scar in a person. For instance, rumors are able to cause a person to break down and become adversely affected because of the large number of people being involved. When it comes to relationship, hurtful remarks and insults being hurled on a person in the fit of anger during conflicts can deeply affect the person’s psychological and emotional state. The impact of these words can be further intensified especially when it come out from a person who you are closely attached to. The emotional effect may heal over time but it can also change a person’s perception of humanity and relationships permanently.

In conclusion, trust and words are closely related to each other in a relationship. Any incorrect management of these two important elements can strain a relationship. Anger management, character building and emotional stress management are crucial to prevent conflicts and handle any aftermath of failed relationships. Therefore, one should not take things to be granted and learn to cherish relationships.

Why people cheating in relationship?

Lately I had a long conversation with one of my chat friend on relationships and broke-up; mostly it happens when some one is fed up with life at certain point of his life, which people don’t get answers for important questions. Like the same that friend also was in need of help to share with people about his life which he got heart breaking era which he/she is going through.

He asked me one big question which I myself also I ask to me since I broke up with my last relationship: why people cheat one another? It’s simple when there is acceptable reason for the issue. Nevertheless without any reason just broke up is unexpectable in every relationship matters and hence it’s real heart breaking feeling for some one who have experienced this before.

After all the long conversation I felt like thinking a lot about this because still I have never got answer of the same question after the last relationship broke up. Every time I contact her I raise the same question but so far got only one answer that is, “Just leave it” and don’t try to find an answer for that.

So, those two incidents make me interested to search on this matter and here are some few ways I have got from my readings.

Cheating is usually a symptom of an unhealthy relationship. It destroys friendships, breaks trust, and causes guilt, anger, hurt and many other negative emotions. Cheating in relationships is not going to last. People know all these facts, but still go on cheating others.

The major point about cheating in relationships is that it is accidental. Most people do not want to cheat on their associates. A known fact is that most persons who experience infidelity in their relationships are likely to experience in future also, even when they move on to other relationships. This is pretty incredible, but true. Some people think that getting badly burned once would be sufficient. However, this is not quite the way it occurs for many people.

There are several reasons why cheating, adultery, infidelity and extra marital affairs often occur in many relationships. People are complicated and appearances can be deceptive. Cheating in relationships depends upon several factors. One important factor is the choice of a partner or spouse. If the choice is not in line with what they require or wish, or with what their partner can give them, there is a chance of cheating.

Cheating also occurs when people fail to give their relationships priority by putting time and energy into them. Another major reason is the failure to understand the issues that led to infidelity in the first place. Many people do not want to analyze the role they played in the failure of a relationship. In most cases, they blame others for things that went wrong rather than look inward for complete understanding.

Cheating often occurs in many marital relationships. Communication is here the most problematic issue. For a myriad of reasons, partners get little time to talk about feelings with each other, particularly negative feelings. In some relationships, partners are not allowed to share unhappiness. Misunderstandings also make people feel that their spouse does not want to hear their problems. So they do not talk about difficulties. The lack of a sense of empowerment, issues of self esteem and unequal partnership are also significant problems in any relationship.

Another Election!

Another election is ahead, whenever I met a friend now days they keep talking about upcoming election. And some of them request to vote for candidate they support, or might be some of their relative or friend.

Always I keep thinking about which candidate I will Vote for, however it’s hard to say just NO to people who request me to vote for their desired candidate.

I always had my own policies which I select my vote will goes for. I suggested writing down how I select the best candidate among all.

Winner use hard argument but soft word

Looser use soft argument but hard word

Winner sees possibilities

Looser sees problems

Winner sees potentials

Looser sees the past

Winner is like a thermostat

Looser are like thermometers

Winner says “I must do something"

Looser say something must be done

Winner sees the gain

Looser sees the pain (mostly after the Election Day)

A winner makes commitment

A Looser makes a problem

Winner has dreams

Looser have schemes

When a winner makes mistakes, say “I was wrong"

When a Looser makes mistakes, say “it wasn’t my fault"

The winner says IT may be difficult but it is possible

The looser say it may be possible

The winner always has program

The looser always has an excuse

The winner say let me do it for you

The looser say that is not my job

The winner sees an answer for every problem

The looser sees problem for every answer

The winner is always part of answer

The looser is always part of the problems

This is how clearly we can see who is the right and who is the wrong candidate to select in any kind of election.